Put some pants on!

The Today show presented its top beauty mistakes to avoid in 2010 this morning, and I was happy and vindicated to find the tights-as-pants trend among the list. This fad has been going on for long enough and needs to go away. Please please please, let’s learn from 2009 and not do this anymore! As the fashion expert put it, just because Lady Gaga can pull it off doesn’t mean this is a good look for the general populace.

Since this trend came into existence, I have been ranting against it. Tights do not count as pants. And they don’t look good. It doesn’t matter if you’re wearing a long t-shirt or top, put on some pants or a skirt. You can wear a dress. You can wear a skirt. But without one of those, you need some real pants.

First of all, wearing tights as pants is sloppy and trashy. Without sufficient clothing on your lower half, it looks like you forgot to get dressed in the morning. Or it looks like you came straight from a night at your boyfriend’s, threw on a shirt and didn’t have the decency to sufficiently cover yourself.

Second, it’s not flattering. Unless you have perfectly thin and sculpted legs, which almost no one does higher than mid-thigh, tights accentuate your curves a little too much. Tights in general have a tendency to pinch awkwardly around the waist, but when you’re substituting them for pants, the thinness also highlights every contour of your lower body. We can all see your underwear lines, or it’s painfully obvious that you’re not wearing underwear. And if you have any cellulite, forget about it, the whole world can see it now.

Third, it’s winter, and your legs need some coverage. If it’s cold enough that you need to wear those mock Ugg boots every day, then it’s too cold for you to wear thin nylon over half of your body. When it’s so cold that everyone’s wearing snow boots, it’s so cold that you need real pants. At this time of year, tights should be worn under pants to provide an extra layer of warmth, but tights alone (or a skirt, snow boots and bare legs, for that matter)? Who do you think you’re kidding … we all know you’re freezing.

You could make the argument that many people’s pants are just as tight as tights, and that may be true. But at least pants have some texture and thickness beyond spandex. You can’t see skin through jeans. And adding denim texture to your tights still does not make them pants.

So please, let Lady Gaga do her thing, and stop dressing like her. We don’t try to emulate anything else she does, and things would go pretty crazy if we did, so let’s end this now.

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