Week 3: L.A. and the single girl
Almost to the day, that’s how long it took before I started getting questions. Four times in the past week, I’ve heard something along the lines of “Are you dating anyone?” or “When are you going to go on a date?” or “Should I keep an eye out for you?” or “Where are you going to meet people?”
All of a sudden, this week, it’s like the universe — or at least my social circle (same thing, right?) — is telling me it’s time to start looking for the next guy.
In case you’re wondering, the answers: No; Whenever I meet someone I want to go on a date with; By all means, can you find me somebody tall, gorgeous, smart, funny and independently wealthy?; and That’s complicated.
Don’t get me wrong. I don’t interpret any of this as pity or pressure, nor am I feeling either of those things for myself. I am in a great place. I love my city and my job. I have great friends and family both here and around the country (and world). I’m 24, I am happy, and I am enjoying my life, so there’s no rush or urgency or whatever you want to call it. But that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t like to meet someone. Seems to me there is no one who is content and secure in his or her life and doesn’t want to meet someone. And even if it’s not someone someone, going on dates and feeling butterflies and all that is just fun!
Which is why those questions are perfectly acceptable and things I will admit to thinking about. Given that this blog is supposed to be what I’m thinking about … I guess I’ll think here.
If nothing else, I am in an adjustment period. Really, this is the first time in three years that I’ve been single for more than a few months. So that’s something. It’s a new normal, one I really didn’t settle into until after the hustle and bustle of the holidays had subsided — meaning I began settling into it fully about two weeks ago.
I have a lot more time to myself, which has led to my vacillating between anxiety (I should be hanging out with someone. Quick, call a friend!) and contentment (Ahhhh, finally! Time to read and sleep and play guitar). I pretty much bounce back and forth between these two sentiments. I’m not spending any less time with my friends — probably more, in fact — but I am just not used to having significant amounts of time to spend solo. Which, for now, is oh so very fine. Soon enough, I know, someone will come along to fill that time and thus take away my reading/sleeping/scrapbooking time.
But then there is the question of where to meet someone. People say it’s hard to meet someone in L.A. But people also say it’s hard to meet someone in New York, it’s hard to meet people in Denver, it’s hard to meet people in Chicago. It’s also probably hard to meet someone (you don’t already know) in a small town! I’m going to say L.A. isn’t any more difficult than anywhere else. Here, people are active, people are social, people are out and about at all times of the year.
However, for me it is tricky, mostly because of my job. I work evenings and weekends, and most of my free time is during the day. I’m usually free when most self-sufficient young adults are working, and I have one night a week, essentially, to go out and meet people. Not exactly promising.
Sure, I could make an OKCupid profile or some such. That has worked for a lot of my friends, and I’m sure there’s something to that, but I just don’t think it’s me. I don’t think I want to meet someone that way. Why? I guess because I am so social and put so much stock in face-to-face engagement and the vibes I get from people.
So that’s the bad news. The good news is I have a lot of friends here, and they have a lot of friends, many of whom I haven’t met. Could be something there. Also, pretty much all of my girlfriends are off the market, so if they meet an awesome eligible bachelor, I’ll be the first gal who comes to mind. So I’ll stay active and social, put my Friday nights to good use, meet friends of friends of friends and go from there. Soon enough, something will happen.
Again: I’m not worrying about it — just thinking about it. The universe is telling me to start looking. Hopefully, soon, it’ll also tell me where to look … and give me something nice to look at.
Currently reading: The Girls Guide to Hunting and Fishing
Currently watching: White Collar, season 3; Oscar nominees as they become available on Netflix
Song of the week: Sam Smith’s “Not The Only One”
Plans for the week: Eric Church concert on Friday; extended family gathering on Saturday